The office Christmas party is edging closer.
Secret Santa always seems like a fun idea on paper. Everyone loves giving (and receiving) gifts, so when the end-of-year party rolls around and the boss asks if the office wants to do a gift exchange we’re all quick to say a collective and jolly ‘Yes’. That is, of course, until we remember that Secret Santa is never straightforward.
There’s a delicate art to office gifting that very few have mastered. The present needs to be practical but fun, has to fall within the allocated price range and should be more inventive than slapping an adhesive bow tie to a bottle of Shiraz. And, above all, it needs to be available at a moments notice because you’ve gone and forgotten about it. Again. For the third year running.
But fear not, gifters. Ahead, you’ll find easy Secret Santa presents for every sort of person in the office.
For the organised one
From the 5.30am yoga class to the 3.17pm afternoon snack, this person has every minute of the work day scheduled to a perfectly formatted Times New Roman ‘T’. Thriving on order and organisation, you’d trust them to run a small country because their emails have more structure than your life. People in the organiser category like memos, sticky notes, anything from Kikki. K and dislike disordered dishwasher stacking in the lunchroom.
For the environmentally conscious one
If these guys were still on Myspace, mother earth would be their #1 friend (and David Attenborough a close second). Notable achievements include kick-starting the office recycling program, admirably remembering to switch off lights/air conditioning at the end of the day and decorating their desk with potplants that they somehow manage to keep alive and thriving. They are human reminder that sustainability isn’t a phase or a fashionable lifestyle choice, it’s just a part of life.
For the one constantly saying they need to drink more water.
Because regardless of the industry you work in, there’s always one.
For the one that’s always stressing
Whilst otherwise delightful, these are the sort of people who work in varying states of flustered-ness. Level 1: mild, almost humble-bragging about how much work they have to do/ how little time they have to do it. Level 2: panicky, not on edge but wandering dangerously close to the cliffside. Level 3: high alert, forgot about tomorrows presentation, do not approach without a cup of soothing peppermint tea and/or relaxing scents and/or spa holiday.
For the one powering through 4+ coffees a day
One of the most mystifying people you’ll encounter during the 9-to-5, you’re not too sure how they remain calm sipping their third extra-strength cappuccino at 3pm when you’re still a jittery, neurotic mess after your morning brew. Is it harmless caffeine intolerance or a sign of impending insanity? Only time will tell, but you’ve memorised the company’s heart attack CPR procedure just in case.
Secret Santa Gift: Travel Mug ($12.95) or CR Mug ($16.95) – both from Decjuba
For one with the messy-desk
The polar opposite/arch nemesis of the organiser, you never thought you had OCD until you walked past this persons desk and had to fight back a primal urge to declutter. Every square inch of their workspace is occupied by stuff – a deliberately ambiguous term as you’re not too sure what purpose any of it serves, where it all came from or whether any of it is actually alive. Attempt to restore order in this cubicle wasteland with basically anything from Kikki. K.
Secret Santa Gift: Felt Pencil Case ($16.95) or Wire A4 Wire Tray ($26.95) – both from Kikki. K
For the one always bringing in cakes
Arguably the most important individual for team morale, the cake-baker ensures that every employee has something delicious and chocolate-laden to nibble on when their birthday rolls around. A plate of homemade goodies makes having your birthday fall on a work day worth it, and almost cancels out the awkwardness of the entire office awkwardly singing ‘happy birthday’ to you.
Secret Santa Gift: Set of 4 Sweetheart Cake Forks ($24) or Koyyalagudem Set of 3 Tea Towels ($25) – Fair GoTrading Pop-Up at Enex
For the one who’s interning
With an enthusiasm for the job that can only be likened to a Labrador puppy, it’s hard not to like the lovable department intern. With a cheery demeanour and ability to see the fun side of updating databases/fetching coffee/addressing envelopes, you’re hit with a wave of nostalgia watching them work. Ah, to be young, carefree and unaware of how insane offices can be.
Secret Santa Gift: The Office: Season 1 ($9.98) or The Office: Season 2 ($15.98) – both from JB HIFI
For the one you’ve worked with for years but still don’t know anything about
You’re not too sure what they do but you’ve been with the company too long to ask. Your working relationship consists of polite small talk in the elevator and seeing their name CC’d into office emails. For these elusive individuals, go with the universal fail-safe gift: chocolates.